From Sarah
Dear Friends,
It's hard to adequately express how grateful I am (we are) for you, our generously loving friends and family. To know we do not walk this road alone is a priceless gift. Thank you for the calls, texts, emails sharing your love and care. Your prayers truly are sustaining us through this dark time.
For someone like me who has always been the "healthy one" with no medical records of note to this point, it is a surreal experience to feel perfectly normal one day and then the very next to be thrown into the medical world of doctor's appointments, scans, blood tests, treatments, surgeries, etc. This past week has felt like a time warp! We are still trying to wrap our minds around this new reality. The tears come easily and often.
Many have been so kind to cheer me on and encourage me saying that I'm strong and I can do this! But the truth is I feel incredibly weak and needy most days. This is new territory for me against a new enemy that I've never faced: cancer. As I've been talking to the Lord about this, he encouraged me with Psalm 18 this week. There is so much I could say about this Psalm written by David, but in an effort to be succinct, I'll just stick to a couple things that struck me...
First, I'm amazed at God response to his dear child's cries for help as he faces a terrifying enemy. It's actually a pretty awe inspiring scene. He rushes to the rescue like an angry dragon blowing smoke from his nostrils. He saves his beloved from swirling waters about to drown him and sets him in a spacious place; ground that is high and dry. In many places, the Bible also talks about God's tenderness and gentleness with us, and I love that part of him too. But right now as I face my own enemy, this picture of God's power and tenacity to come to my defense is a profound comfort to me.
Second, I love how David talks about God equipping him for war. He arms me with strength... He makes my feet like the feet of a deer to stand on the heights... He trains my hands for battle... He makes his saving help my shield... With him I can run against a troop and jump over a wall ... etc. I'm encouraged that the Lord will equip me for the battle before me. He will train me how to go through chemo. I have courage and skill to fight this enemy, because he is fighting with me and for me.
So I continue to pray, Lord, as you were with David, please be with me as I fight this enemy of cancer until it is gone. Of course I pray that the doctors are correct with their good prognosis, and that cancer would be defeated in my body in this life. But I know for sure that through Jesus you have already defeated it in the next! Ultimately, I can't lose. Just give me strength for the next step.
Truly, I can say with David: I love you, O Lord, my strength. Lord, you are my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies (Psalm 18:1-3).
Thanks for standing with me and my family in this daily battle to live this out, friends. Fears come regularly. We need God's presence to comfort and strengthen us moment by moment.
A few things to pray for this week:
Monday I have surgery first thing in the morning to get my port placed. Chemo will start sometime in the next 2 weeks or so.
Wednesday I have an MRI. Please pray it confirms that the cancer has not spread.
Please pray I pass all medical exams in good health to proceed with chemo (EKG, echocardiogram, etc.)
Saturday we are planning a college visit with Maddie. Please pray this is a nice change of pace and a sweet time as a family.
With much love and gratitude,
Sarah